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HI!!!

Hey peeps, I’ve moved over to www.vurtgrrl.wordpress.com!!! The weather is nicer.

Lurv,

Mandy.

25 Things.

1. When I was little I wanted to be a marine biologist. Sometimes I wonder what my life would have been like if I had followed that path.

2. I feel like I can identify more with little kids than I can with most adults.

3. One day in March 2007, I suddenly felt the need to shave my head completely bald and pierce my lip. Later that week I found out I was pregnant.

4. This past year has been the hardest year of my life.

5. I feel more optimistic about the future right now than I probably ever have.

6. Once I swallowed a tadpole on a dare. For weeks afterward I would wake in the middle of the night, convinced I could feel something trying to crawl back up my throat.

7. I have never had the chicken pox. But, as I found out when I was pregnant and getting all kinds of blood work done, I have the antibodies for chicken pox.

8. The summer I turned 14 I went to Russia for three weeks. When I came back everything was different- I felt like I had a new pair of eyes.

9. People who talk a lot make me nervous.

10. My favorite dessert is graham crackers with frozen Cool Whip.

11. I am obsessed with the original Star Trek series.

12. I lived alone in the woods for four months to make a film that I’ve only shown once.

13. I have a recurring dream where I’m either burning everything I own or throwing it all into a lake.

14. I’ve made more art in the year since Pema was born than I did during the five years after I graduated from art school.

15. I hate ferris wheels. I went on one recently with a friend, thinking surely I had outgrown my hatred, but I was wrong. I’m OK with roller coasters, though.

16. I often feel failed by language. I am trying to find alternatives.

17. I won a film grant through the Princess Grace Foundation when I was still in school. I was flown to New York for the awards ceremony, which was in the Grand Ballroom at the Waldorf Astoria. Rene Fleming sang “Somewhere Over The Rainbow” to the awards recipients. I met Prince Albert of Monaco. We were allowed to bring one guest, and I asked my boyfriend at the time if he would go. He didn’t want to miss any school. My mom had indicated that she wanted to go, but I told her it would make me nervous to have her there. I went alone. If I could change any one thing about my past, this would be it. I would have taken my mom to New York to see me get my award.

18. I used to spend a lot of time in my closet when I was little, looking for secret doors to parallel dimensions. I tried every combination of secret knocks and words that I could think of.

19. I love Jay more than he knows.

20. Sometimes it seems like before I can move toward something, first I have to violently oppose it.

21. If I ever have a son I would love to name him “Zephram”.

22. I just gave my two weeks notice at my job- I’m going to stay home with Pema, make art, and cook delicious things to eat. I realize this is an opportunity to be treasured.

23. My love for unicorns is not based in any kind of irony.

24. My biggest hope as far as being a mom is that I can show Pema that it’s OK to be different and that only she can know what her life should look like.

25. Breakfast will always be my favorite meal.

R.I.P., Rabbit.

In which Pema becomes an Official Member of the Society for Putting Things on Top of Other Things

stacking1

stacking2

Wow- SFPTOTOOT has a pool on Flickr! I love the internet.

SFPTOTOOT: a transcript.

end of the affair

end1

mom

Five Magic Things.

sunlamp

1. my new solar-powered sun jar (thanks, Jay)

pancakes2

2. cinnamon-apple pancakes (from scratch)

reading

3. Pema looking at books on her own

frost

4. frost on the window

My mom's records.

5. my mom's records

bitter/sweet

There’s a common misunderstanding among all the human beings who have ever been born on the earth that the best way to live is to try to avoid pain and just try to get comfortable. You can see this even in insects and animals and birds. All of us are the same.

A much more interesting, kind, adventurous, and joyful approach to life is to begin to develop our curiosity, not caring whether the object of our inquisitiveness is bitter or sweet. To lead a life that goes beyond pettiness and prejudice and always wanting to make sure that everything turns out on our own terms, to lead a more passionate, full, and delightful life than that, we must realize that we can endure a lot of pain and pleasure for the sake of finding out who we are and what this world is, how we tick and how our world ticks, how the whole thing just is.

– Pema Chödrön

never

Three Pictures of Children in Words

Color photographic print of a group of children at a Halloween party. The group of fifteen children stand in several rows. Many of the group are in costume. At the center of the group is a child dressed as a clown. The costume includes a white shirt with red polka dots and a white cone-shaped hat with red dots. A child at the left of the front row wears a cat mask. Several of the other children wear masks or hats. A portion of a brown table is visible at the lower right. Behind the group at the left are blue curtains. On the wall above the curtains is an orange and black jack-o-lantern. On a biege-colored wall at the right is a large framed picture. 1979.

Vertical rectangular black and white copy photograph: snapshot of two young girls, standing side by side with arm around each other’s shoulders, each wrapped in a towel. They stand on grass at bottom of stairs to a porch. Four adults and one boy stand on the stairs. 1940.

Black and white group photograph of a 50th wedding anniversary. The picture is taken in a park where the group sits or stands on the grass with trees in the background. The group is composed of several babies, as well as many children and adults. There is also a white dog sitting on the left side of the picture. After the first few rows, it appears that several other portraits have been superimposed onto the picture. 1884.

Text from the Johnson County History Museum’s photo archives.

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